|
WRAPPING THINGS UP?
In my Report to the Board last week, I concluded with important dates (see below) as I wrote “as I begin wrapping things up” with my ministry here at First Unitarian Church. Wait. What? Wrapping things up? I wrote that easily. Later I read it, and part of me couldn’t believe it.
Our departures, when we say goodbye, are layered with grief, appreciation, denial, confusion, and many other experiences. Aha, I thought to myself on Saturday, this might explain the unusual sadness that I am feeling; it is different than my ongoing mourning for our country. So, yes, my friends, I can tell that I am starting to grieve my departure from the congregation, which will happen in mid-June. Recently, I have noticed that I am having trouble making decisions about things at church. Some of you may have noticed this (sorry); it’s a classic sign of grieving.
Last evening, as I read the classic text on “when ministers leave a congregation,” I’d forgotten that in the last 6 to 8 weeks, ministers themselves will experience sadness and even a sense of dying as they slowly begin to let go of their ministry with the congregation. Again, my Aha, I was really sad Saturday, and I felt the heaviness of our impending separation on my shoulders Sunday. Well, that, and I probably shouldn’t have ordered that huge Big Four Pretzel from Pearl Street Taphouse for dinner Saturday.
My intention is to do a good goodbye over the next six weeks or so. It will be good for you as a congregation and me as a minister. Let’s do it together. What creates a good goodbye? Well, step one, for those of you who have not scheduled a goodbye meeting with me, alone or in a group, please do so. Usually folks schedule: 15 minutes, 30 minutes or 45 minutes. Send me an email to schedule. By the way, one person took care of this goodbye meeting with me in February! We still see each other, of course, but our proclaimed goodbye has happened. Also, some of you have texted, sent a postcard or emailed me your recognition of my leave-taking in June. Thank you.
Ministerial Absence: Part of the reason that I am experiencing some of the grief now is that I am keenly aware of my collegial covenant to practice ministerial absence once I leave in June. That means I will refrain from contact with FirstULou members, friends and staff for at least one year, perhaps more. This allows me to disengage fully from my ministry here and it allows you all to regather your energies and love with a new minister among you. I ask you to honor this absence that I, along with colleagues, have found necessary for our health and well-being as well as the health and well-being of the congregations that we have departed. Whew.
For now, here are those dates from my April Board Report:
- Sunday, May 4th – Councilwoman Shameka Parrish-Wright has accepted my invitation to be in the pulpit that day. Linette Lowe will be the service coordinator. I will be out of town that/next weekend
- Sunday, May 11th – I will be in the pulpit for Mother’s Day and here for the weekend.
- Sunday, May 18th – My first, of two, Farewell Sermons. Since many people will be gone in June, I am doing two farewells. On this date, May 18th, there will be a big Farewell Party after, with a bit of a Star Trek theme. Lunch will be provided.
- Sunday, May 25th – I will not be participating in the service but I will be around that weekend.
- Sunday, June 1st – Our Adult Education Death and Dying Class will present their experience of the year-long class we shared together.
ALSO, on a lively note, The Congregational Meeting is that day after the service!! There will be a luncheon.
- Sunday, June 8th – Your new minister, Rev. Liz, will be joining me in the pulpit. It will also be Flower Communion Sunday!
- Sunday, June 15th – My, Rev. MAM, Second Farewell day in pulpit. Small party after.
Please be mindful of the time we have left. Also, note your own patterns of
how you say goodbye and be mindful not to ignore the feelings or process. We,
ministers, are asked to share with you our feelings with you during this time. |
